yearzerowriters

The Rock and Roll Deconstruction Daddio – ‘Other Side’

In Richie Dowling on April 5, 2010 at 1:44 pm

 red

Richie Dowling

 

Amidst tales of heroin abuse, alcohol abuse and body-building er, abuse, one element of controversy stands out about today’s band; is the red hot chili pepper a fruit or a vegetable?

I’ll put this one to rest here and now; botanically speaking the chili is a berry. Band members rejected the other contenders such as The Cute Little Raspberries and The Healthy Anti-Oxidant Blueberries before finally settling on a moniker that would conjure up pleasant memories of being burned at both ends after a spicy meal.

Despite this, the RHCPs have never achieved the commercial success they deserve. But still, having lost the shirts off their backs, and sometimes with nothing left in their wardrobes but a single sock per member, they continue to funk on regardless, and I for one applaud their dedication.

Now, down to business. The Other Side is today’s topic of deconstruction and here’s the chorus:-

How long
how long will I slide
Separate my side
I don’t
I don’t believe it’s bad
Slittin my throat
It’s all I ever

How long will you slide? That’s a valid question, and the answer will depend on your initial velocity, the viscosity of the slide itself, and of course the height and angle of said slide. Be warned, though, that this sort of attitude will not help you to make friends in the playground. Take my advice, just go down the slide and find out. Otherwise you’re just holding up the line. Another tip? Don’t try to work out the centrifugal force being exerted while on the merry-go-round you damned science nerd.

Separate your side? What does that mean? Is this a roundabout way of saying you want someone to tell you a funny joke? If you could just phrase things in a normal way, Braniac, then the kids would let you in on the fun and games. And if some soul takes pity on you and tells you a joke, then the best reply is not “I don’t believe it’s bad”. Just laugh politely you socially-inept schmuck.

What? You’re slitting your throat? What’s that about? You really need some social skills if you’re going to get on in your life. Just because you hear a joke that doesn’t separate your side you’re going to take your life?

“It’s all I ever” what? Finish your sentences, please. Oh, right, you’ve slit your throat so you can’t speak. That’s a pretty cool idea as song lyrics go, but wait, this is the beginning of the song. Now that you’re dead how are you going to continue things? Oh, I see. You’re on the Other Side now! So, what are things like in the afterlife?
I heard your voice through a photograph
I thought it up and brought up the past
Once you’ve know you can never go back
I’ve got to take it on the otherside

Say what? You can hear voices through photographs? That’s gnarly dude. Say, do all photos make it to Heaven? What about last month’s centrefold from Cavernous Twat? What is she saying? Mind you, I have to say that I was expecting more from the Big Hereafter. It sounds like a celestial fotoblog or facebook page if you ask me. Does God have a Twitter account? “Made the Earth today. It was good. Bit dark. Must do something about it tomorrow.”
Centuries are what it meant to me
A cemetery where I marry the sea
Stranger things could never change my mind
I’ve got to take it on the otherside
Take it on the otherside
Take it on the otherside
Take it on
Take it on

Centuries? It seems like centuries? Well, I suppose married life isn’t for everyone, but then what do you expect if you marry the sea? And could you have found a more romantic place for the ceremony than a cemetery? Boy, I’d like to have been a fly on the wall at that wedding party. Who gave the bride away? Neptune? I guess it’s hard to find stranger things than that so I don’t blame you for not changing your mind. But could you be a little more specific please? What are you taking on the other side? Drugs? We’re adults, we can handle it. If I got to Heaven and found out it was just a load of pictures and shit, then I’d probably be taking a toke or two myself.

Pour my life into a paper cup
The ashtrays full and I’m spillin’ my guts
She wants to know am I still a slut
I’ve got to take it on the other side

Scarlet starlet and she’s in my bed
A candidate for a soul mate bled
Push the trigger and pull the thread
I’ve got to take it on the otherside
Take it on the otherside
Take it on
Take it on

Yep, I can sympathise with this. I worked in Starbucks too. The only difference was that mine was non-smoking. So, are you still a slut? You seem to have a scarlet starlet in your bed. I don’t know many red actresses. . .Sure, there was Captain Scarlet, but I think he was male. Wait a second, I get it, she’s having her time of the month. In your bed. The nerve! These Hollywood actresses think they can go around without sufficient padding and just let loose wherever the hell they feel like it! In the UK our tampons are equipped with threads, but I’ve never seen one with a trigger. Still, you do everything bigger and better in the States, right?
Turn me on take me for a hard ride
Burn me out leave me on the otherside
I yell and tell it that
It’s not a friend
I tear it down I tear it down
And then it’s born again

And now I realise that I’ve completely misread the entire lyric up to this point! Turn me on? Take me for a hard ride? Burn me out?

You, sir, are a motorcycle!

A song from the point of view of a Harley? That is genius!

Now I understand what the other side is—you’ve been taken to fair England where, verily, the natives ride on the other side of the road! I wouldn’t have thought it necessary to tear the bike down and rebuild it so as to navigate the streets of London, but you’re the expert. But please, don’t be angry with the bike. It is, after all, your friend and it can’t be easy having all four members of the band on its back. I just hope you’re wearing more than socks, as the police are quite strict about maintaining helmet regulations on this side of the pond.

So, who’s your Daddio?

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  1. Good job, man.

    These lyrics are so vague that you could interpret them a thousand different ways. Or about five at least…

    I always wondered if ‘It’s all I ever’ had a final word on the end of it. I guess not.

  2. I wonder if the line has been misheard and he actually sings, “It’s Saul Eyever”–the famous Jewish music manager and one time guru for the band. This song, as is well known, marked their rupture with the guy who brought them fame. Saul bounced back of course and is currently managing Lady Gaga and that guy from Different Strokes.

  3. Are you serious?

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