Archive for August, 2010|Monthly archive page

The things we should’ve left in the fire [but didn’t]

In Gupter Puncher/Oli Johns on August 31, 2010 at 1:01 pm


What Mark Wahlberg did after ‘The Departed’…

He [Wahlberg] put the oscar nomination card next to the agent’s phone and sat down very close to them both. The way he imagined it, the nomination would send out positive waves of energy to the closest thing nearby, and the way he saw it, the agent’s phone was that very thing. So, this way nothing could go wrong. Nomination would lead to oscar, and oscar would inexorably lead to two, and then three, and four and…and pretty soon he’d have a whole centipede of them.


Sunday 4th May

I don’t understand what’s happening…

Can’t function. Can’t go out. It hurts to go out, to work, anywhere. What the fuck is happening??

Even sitting here, I don’t feel good. In a fucking cafe…what?

Gotta think…

If there’s a way off, there’s a way back on…gotta get back on…

I can’t…I don’t feel good…

Fucking stop looking at me you fat fucking cunt…get off that fucking table and get out of my fucking face…get out of my fucking cafe…

I can’t… Read the rest of this entry »

Gupter Puncher [The Bill Murray Issue, no.7]

In Gupter Puncher/Oli Johns on August 24, 2010 at 2:09 pm

It starts with Bill Murray in black and white [drawn by Sarah E Melville!]


There’s Tomomi at the Cannes Film festa. Or it should’ve been. That all happened last May, and Tomomi was there…until being led away by Mad Vince Gallo to Padua and then the streets of Bologna. But she did see a couple of films, like Socialism by Godard, Blue Valentine with Ryan Gosling…as well as a couple on the horizon. [Green Hornet]

There’s also Jamie Foxx learning Spanish for Collateral.

Matt Damon slaughtering French in the Bournes.

Quentin Tarantino telling an interviewer to fuck him in Japanese.

And some other stuff along the same lines, all kinda linked with each other and-…


It kinda blows up on itself in the middle and goes in a whole other direction.

A direction which includes Bret Easton Ellis. And Milan Kundera. And Alain De Botton. And James Ellroy.

It’s all really hard to explain, and I don’t think I’m doing a very good job of it…but perhaps you get the idea?

Oh yeah…

There’s also something by Lenox Parker [Year Zero].

And Lawrence Gray [Year Zero].

And Marcella O Connor [Year Zero].


It’s gonna be in various places around Hong Kong and New York [and London in November], and if none of those places are good for you then most of it will come up eventually on the website anyway.


The Imaginarium[?] of Gupter Puncher[-uss]

In Gupter Puncher/Oli Johns on August 11, 2010 at 4:42 pm

 I am Ben Kingsley from Sexy Beast.

You’re gonna draw them, Sarah. You’re gonna do it. You’re gonna do it. Yes. Yes. You are. You’re gonna draw them. Why not? Why not? You’ve got no reason, why not? Do it. Do it. Do it. You’ve gotta do it, so you’re doing it. Yes. Yes. What? What’s that? Too busy at school? What school? You don’t go to school, you’re lying. You’re fucking lying to me. School work? Don’t fuck with me, Sarah, just draw ’em. Yes. You’re doing it. Get your pencil, you’re drawing ’em. You’re doing it. No? Yes. Yes. Yes. Stop pushing me, you’re-…No? Fuck you. Fuck you, you’re doing it. You’re fucking doing it. Don’t shake your head, you’re fucking doing it.


I am Matthew McConnaghey from Dazed and Confused.

The girl asked me what I was like before I came to Hong Kong. How do you mean, I said back. Like my character? Is that what you mean? And she said, yeah, like your character. Like, I don’t know, were you any good at sports? Were you a cool kid or a geek? And I shrugged, knowing the truth was a little different to the line I was about to choose, and said, I wouldn’t say geek, but I wouldn’t say cool. And I laughed. Which means I was cool by the way. And she laughed too. And the sports? Yeah, I was a sportsman. Pretty good with a ball at my feet. Were you a cheerleader? No, she said. Sorry. And I put my arm around her and said, hey, it’s no big deal. But it’d be cooler if you were. Read the rest of this entry »

The Year of living Camus[ly]

In Gupter Puncher/Oli Johns on August 8, 2010 at 3:23 am

I’ve already posted this one here:

…and it seems to be quite active there so I won’t bother posting it twice.

If you like or love Camus, go!

Schrodinger’s Inception [Warning: SPOILERS]

In Marc Horne on August 3, 2010 at 2:00 pm

I’m on Schrödinger’s plane, over the Pacific. I’m locked in a box in an unobserved state with a dangerous element and when I arrive – in L.A. – I will find out if I am alive or dead. Looking at the low-down clouds, I wonder why it is that Schrödinger’s work is one of the few pieces of modern Quantum physics that artists have latched onto. Perhaps it is because of the cat that usually is trapped in this state: lonely creative types in sad little apartments, not even smelling the cat litter anymore, dreaming of other worlds and the possibility that, despite all appearances to the contrary… they are not dead.

I flip through the movie selection on the screen in the little pod I rest in. The pod is great but it only makes me surprised that I can’t watch any movie in the history of mankind. Why just this selection? Why would you have Caddyshack 2, for example, and NOT Caddyshack ‘1’?

I go with Total Recall, although I know that I will be asleep before the end of it. Quaid goes to Mars. That gross mutant guy is talking to him. It gets to the end. It’s dark on this plane. I look around me. Why was I just dreaming about a plane? My mates are looking at me funny “Watch the bloody film!” they say. Arnie’s on the top of the mountain now, with the woman who is less attractive than Sharon Stone karate kicking you in aerobic wear, but not bad. I feel the closure of a long narrative arc surrounding us, warming my narrative gonads. Then woah… what is this, it’s fading out. NO… not a last minute plot fuck! I don’t want to leave the top of the Martian mountain like this. This is as close as I will ever get to the top of that Martian mountain and I don’t want you to take it away from me.

Oh thank you. It was just a tease. They are Really On Mars. Then it ends. But I am immune to the sudden black shutter. I don’t freak out. I have my closure now. I don’t mind being back in the crummy seats with my mates who also have crumbs all over them.

Except my mates never turned up did they? But they were here? Well that was years ago, when we used to go to the cinema all the time and thereby, although we didn’t know it at the time, sort of dodged becoming glueys and then going to jail.

I leave the movie theater, as I now call it after years living with Americans and having Japanese businessmen insist that I teach them real US English. I pass through the lobby of the Odeon, and I note with some regret that my life is now so full of hot dogs that the smell of the pink, rolling tubes is no longer as exciting to me as Sinbad’s greatest adventure. I go outside and look at my watch. 30 minutes before the lads turn up. I could either sniff glue or get a pint. Read the rest of this entry »