Archive for the ‘Gupter Puncher/Oli Johns’ Category

Gupter Puncher – Zizek Press

In Gupter Puncher/Oli Johns on May 5, 2011 at 5:49 pm


Gupter has died.

If you wanna see what it turned into…

Barthelme and the writing dead[and how they can write better]

In Gupter Puncher/Oli Johns on January 29, 2011 at 8:43 pm



The ideal state of the critic, for Barthelme, is confusion…”

Donald Barthelme is dead, but not spent.

We’ll begin with the first tip and work our way workman-like to the last:

1] ‘No two sentences should be alike.’

A decent point. At its peak, we get a story like that one he did with King Kong. [He [KK] climbed through a window into a cocktail party of academics] Or his reworking of Snow White. If you haven’t read it, Snow White is a slut, living and sleeping with the dwarfs in a New York tenement or building. [Tenement – definition?] The Prince spies on her from a bunker underground. And the wicked witch goes through the phone book and tells strangers how easy it is to get their numbers.

But actually…more than two sentences in this are alike…not the exact same sentence, but similar…

A correction to this: [If Barthelme were alive again and could think the same way he thought before]…

no two ideas should be alike.

This makes more sense. No two pages of Snow White are twins.

Maybe there’s more to write about this one? More than two sentences…it’s a call to innovation, isn’t it? But how do we have this debate? Read the rest of this entry »

Interview: Darren Aronofsky [Black Swan, Pi, Gone Fishin’]

In Gupter Puncher/Oli Johns on January 17, 2011 at 6:03 pm


Aronofsky, tall-ish, rake-ish, ‘don’t call me intellectual, I’m just a regular guy’-ish, walks into the room with a scowl on his face.

Gupter Puncher, tramp-ish, offers him part of the couch.

ARONOFSKY: What is this place? A hostel?

GUPTER PUNCHER: Yes. [Pause] I thought it would be different.

On a nearby couch, some Australian guy: ‘it’s money, yeah, but I ain’t cleaning no toilets, mate.’

ARONOFSKY: You brought me to a hostel?

GUPTER PUNCHER: Sorry…that guy, he’ll probably leave in a minute. It’ll be better then.

ARONOFSKY: A hostel?

GUPTER PUNCHER: It’s not that bad. [He points to a curtain at the back of the room] There’s a cinema room over there. I think they’ve got…yeah, you can hear it. [He listens to the movie playing behind the curtain]. I think it’s Euro trip. Read the rest of this entry »

The Hyena from the sky and the Hyena from underground

In Gupter Puncher/Oli Johns on October 13, 2010 at 10:22 am



Hold on to that anger…hold on and hold on until there’s no breath left in your-…



Date Night. Will And Grace. Ben H Winters. Sea monsters. Android Karenina. The Other Guys. Will Ferrell. Marky Mark. Ari Gold. Entourage. Who’s that guy? Fuzzy hair. Movie star. No charm. No grace. Hollywood. Deadwood. Olyphant. Ian McShane. Where’s his gun? Where’s his brain? Shakespeare. Different words. Sounds good. What’s he say? No one heard. Method One. Write a plot. Method Two. Craft some words. Method Three. Odd-ball. David Lynch. Jim Jarmusch. Czech Alice. Puppeteer. What’s his name? Method Four. My script. Any good? Yes, it is. Any Good? Piece of shit.


…it wasn’t good, it wasn’t bad, and there wasn’t one there were seven of them, or eight of them, I can’t remember now, but four were good and four were bad, and three of the four that were good weren’t really that good, or not good enough, and one of them was Knifeman, and Knifeman’s not a name to call a film, not if you want it made, not if you want people to listen to you. But Knifeman, I liked it, and the people who didn’t like it, they didn’t know anything. They didn’t know what Knifeman was, what Knifeman really was, and they never could because they have no soul, they have no soul in there, and only someone with a soul can understand something like Knifeman. Read the rest of this entry »

Tuesdays With Racism [Reviews]

In Gupter Puncher/Oli Johns on October 8, 2010 at 1:44 pm

These reviews are a little late.

When you’re a nothing magazine made on Microsoft Word and free and read by five people [three of them me], it takes time for the publishing people to send stuff to you.

I don’t know when ‘Tuesdays with Morrie’ came out, but I’m pretty sure it’s not upcoming. And I’m pretty sure this review is-…

Actually I don’t really have much to write about it. Not my fault though…I think there were some pages missing.

There’s a picture of Hank Azaria on the front cover…huh?

They’ve made a movie already?

I don’t know. I guess they wouldn’t just randomly select Hank to pose on the-…

Fuck it, let’s get on with the review. But not really a review, more a question and answer session. Read the rest of this entry »

The other, OTHER side of HK Film [Part One]

In Gupter Puncher/Oli Johns on October 5, 2010 at 10:44 am

Stool Pigeon (2010)


Hong Kong is not in love with film.

I know this because I live here. I’ve lived here for over four years. When I walk in and out of cinemas and cafes next to cinemas and talk to people who wear t-shirts with Klaus Kinski and Paris, Texas all I hear is the same old shallow shit. And I don’t really understand anything they say to each other, but I know it’s not about Kubrick or the Rumanian New Wave or the Secret in their Eyes. They don’t care about this kind of thing. Art, I mean.

Or they might.

I don’t know.

I guess I shouldn’t underestimate them.


Fuck it, skip forward.


I’m sitting alone in a cafe on the fourth floor of some hidden building in Mong Kok…a cafe I heard the art director of Lust Caution comes to sometimes…

Not that I’m here because of him. I came here before I knew that, for my magazine. And I like the place anyway. I think.

The food’s pretty shit, actually. And this seat’s not very comfortable. Read the rest of this entry »

Charles VI in Chinese University land [roaming, stabbing]

In Gupter Puncher/Oli Johns on September 16, 2010 at 4:04 pm

Once upon a time there was a tax form. And an immigration form. And electricity bills. And a whole lot of other things.

Charles VI, once a king, now uncertain, got the tax form on May 3rd and had one month to fill it in and send it back. But every time he opened the tax envelope and took out the form, or the forms, and looked at them all, he would panic, throw up his arms, and quickly put them away again.

I still have time. I’ll do it tomorrow.’

And when he wasn’t thinking about the tax forms, he was thinking about the immigration forms. And the electricity bills, and the other things. But the immigration stuff was undoubtedly the worst of it.

See, Charles VI wasn’t happy in Hong Kong. He hadn’t been happy for a long time, and for a long time he had been unable to think of a way out. Things weren’t the way they were before, those many years ago, when artisans and peasants would bail him out, and bail him out grandly, with swords at their throats.

Now…no. The swords were gone, the throats cut, the artisans dead, decayed, back in the earth.

But then someone had told him about Canada. That country over another sea, where they wouldn’t take your culture and throw it to the waves, but hold it to their chest and say, ‘hey, this is something good. Let’s keep it.’ And all this had sounded so good to Charles VI that he had gone to the website and seen that, indeed, it was good, and, yes, he was eligible, and quickly printed out the forms.

But those forms…Krist! Read the rest of this entry »

The things we should’ve left in the fire [but didn’t]

In Gupter Puncher/Oli Johns on August 31, 2010 at 1:01 pm


What Mark Wahlberg did after ‘The Departed’…

He [Wahlberg] put the oscar nomination card next to the agent’s phone and sat down very close to them both. The way he imagined it, the nomination would send out positive waves of energy to the closest thing nearby, and the way he saw it, the agent’s phone was that very thing. So, this way nothing could go wrong. Nomination would lead to oscar, and oscar would inexorably lead to two, and then three, and four and…and pretty soon he’d have a whole centipede of them.


Sunday 4th May

I don’t understand what’s happening…

Can’t function. Can’t go out. It hurts to go out, to work, anywhere. What the fuck is happening??

Even sitting here, I don’t feel good. In a fucking cafe…what?

Gotta think…

If there’s a way off, there’s a way back on…gotta get back on…

I can’t…I don’t feel good…

Fucking stop looking at me you fat fucking cunt…get off that fucking table and get out of my fucking face…get out of my fucking cafe…

I can’t… Read the rest of this entry »

Gupter Puncher [The Bill Murray Issue, no.7]

In Gupter Puncher/Oli Johns on August 24, 2010 at 2:09 pm

It starts with Bill Murray in black and white [drawn by Sarah E Melville!]


There’s Tomomi at the Cannes Film festa. Or it should’ve been. That all happened last May, and Tomomi was there…until being led away by Mad Vince Gallo to Padua and then the streets of Bologna. But she did see a couple of films, like Socialism by Godard, Blue Valentine with Ryan Gosling…as well as a couple on the horizon. [Green Hornet]

There’s also Jamie Foxx learning Spanish for Collateral.

Matt Damon slaughtering French in the Bournes.

Quentin Tarantino telling an interviewer to fuck him in Japanese.

And some other stuff along the same lines, all kinda linked with each other and-…


It kinda blows up on itself in the middle and goes in a whole other direction.

A direction which includes Bret Easton Ellis. And Milan Kundera. And Alain De Botton. And James Ellroy.

It’s all really hard to explain, and I don’t think I’m doing a very good job of it…but perhaps you get the idea?

Oh yeah…

There’s also something by Lenox Parker [Year Zero].

And Lawrence Gray [Year Zero].

And Marcella O Connor [Year Zero].


It’s gonna be in various places around Hong Kong and New York [and London in November], and if none of those places are good for you then most of it will come up eventually on the website anyway.


The Imaginarium[?] of Gupter Puncher[-uss]

In Gupter Puncher/Oli Johns on August 11, 2010 at 4:42 pm

 I am Ben Kingsley from Sexy Beast.

You’re gonna draw them, Sarah. You’re gonna do it. You’re gonna do it. Yes. Yes. You are. You’re gonna draw them. Why not? Why not? You’ve got no reason, why not? Do it. Do it. Do it. You’ve gotta do it, so you’re doing it. Yes. Yes. What? What’s that? Too busy at school? What school? You don’t go to school, you’re lying. You’re fucking lying to me. School work? Don’t fuck with me, Sarah, just draw ’em. Yes. You’re doing it. Get your pencil, you’re drawing ’em. You’re doing it. No? Yes. Yes. Yes. Stop pushing me, you’re-…No? Fuck you. Fuck you, you’re doing it. You’re fucking doing it. Don’t shake your head, you’re fucking doing it.


I am Matthew McConnaghey from Dazed and Confused.

The girl asked me what I was like before I came to Hong Kong. How do you mean, I said back. Like my character? Is that what you mean? And she said, yeah, like your character. Like, I don’t know, were you any good at sports? Were you a cool kid or a geek? And I shrugged, knowing the truth was a little different to the line I was about to choose, and said, I wouldn’t say geek, but I wouldn’t say cool. And I laughed. Which means I was cool by the way. And she laughed too. And the sports? Yeah, I was a sportsman. Pretty good with a ball at my feet. Were you a cheerleader? No, she said. Sorry. And I put my arm around her and said, hey, it’s no big deal. But it’d be cooler if you were. Read the rest of this entry »