Posts Tagged ‘Hong Kong’

The four worlds of Evelyn Wong

In Gupter Puncher/Oli Johns on May 6, 2010 at 12:19 pm


[Note: The formatting for this didn’t work. The bold italic sections should be very far to the right. And the rest of it should look a lot different, but I don’t know how to fix it. The only thing that’s right is the actual story.]

I get to work at the same time as every other Monday. I walk the same route, round the side of Jordan road and buy the same shit from the same bakery. Pizza cake and sausage roll. Looking at them makes me feel sick. Seeing the bakery lady looking at them makes me even sicker. The walk to the school is ten minutes and it’s humid. I sit down and eat the pizza shit. I can’t remember last week, or the taste of last weeks shit, but I’m pretty sure this is just as bad. I write notes in my notepad and try not to look at the walls or the door or the class going on next door. Fuck. Why does no one pretty work here? Five minutes to the bell and one of the older teachers comes in and says she’s sorry to disturb me. I tell her I’m kinda busy. She sits down anyway. The first student of mine is a prick. A three year old prick. No, he isn’t a prick, but he isn’t listening to me. I say his name five times before I get an answer. He can’t write his name. He can’t count. He can’t do much of anything except say ‘goo-goo-da-da.’ I taught him that. Read the rest of this entry »

Charcoal [an excerpt]

In Gupter Puncher/Oli Johns on April 18, 2010 at 1:57 pm


[This is the first 11 pages of my new novel. It’s a lonely piece, but hopefully not miserable. If it is miserable then just stop reading and click onto something else. Tomomi at the HK film festival maybe? If you get to the end and like it, please write a comment and tell me why. If you think it’s shit, tell me why. Thanks.]

Why Peter O’ Toole let go. Why Bodhi went back into the storm…

I watch Michael Portillo fake-dying on TV.

It’s almost 2am and he’s trying to find the perfect way to execute prisoners.

My housemate is asleep, and I don’t have to work until late the next day, so I stay up and stretch out on the couch and focus on the screen.


For a few weeks, I’ve been interested in suicide.

Not for myself, but the idea of it.

At least I don’t think it’s for myself.

But it would be nice to know there’s a way…that there’s a way to do it, if things really were that bad.

Something non violent, non painful.

Some kind of gas, maybe? Read the rest of this entry »

The Klaus Kinski Solution to Poverty

In Gupter Puncher/Oli Johns on February 14, 2010 at 2:01 pm

I was in a bar just off Lan Kwai, not far from another bar called Yumla, and I wasn’t really drunk, but a friend of mine was and he wanted to leave so we got up to leave and as I stood up a guy hit me with an inflatable banner.


The guy looked a little like a more respectable version of Klaus Kinski, even though he was drunk, and the words on his inflatable banner, which was quite long, were in Chinese. I don’t think he knew what they said.

He hit me again and laughed and said we should take the banner and go and hit people outside, and I said no, I’m leaving now.

He hit me again.

I said, ‘Where did you get the banner?’

‘I don’t know, I think it came with me.’

‘You brought it with you?’

‘Or…no…or it brought me…or it, it bought me…bought me.’ Read the rest of this entry »

GUPTER PUNCHER: Issue 5 preview

In Gupter Puncher/Oli Johns on February 12, 2010 at 1:13 pm

The next issue is almost done.

If I had to guess, I’d say it’ll be out by Feb. 25th. But there’s usually a fuck up in the printing department, so who knows?

But when it does come, the theme will be religion.

Probably not Islam though. I don’t want to die for a magazine read by five people.

Would extremists find a copy of Gupter Puncher?

It’s unlikely, but…as soon as you satirise something, the something will find out…

So, no Islam.

But there will be other things.


Donald Barthelme goes to Church, 2nd floor. – an anxious man goes to a church gig in Hong Kong and lets his anxiety run away with itself. Read the rest of this entry »