Posts Tagged ‘suicide’

Charcoal [an excerpt]

In Gupter Puncher/Oli Johns on April 18, 2010 at 1:57 pm


[This is the first 11 pages of my new novel. It’s a lonely piece, but hopefully not miserable. If it is miserable then just stop reading and click onto something else. Tomomi at the HK film festival maybe? If you get to the end and like it, please write a comment and tell me why. If you think it’s shit, tell me why. Thanks.]

Why Peter O’ Toole let go. Why Bodhi went back into the storm…

I watch Michael Portillo fake-dying on TV.

It’s almost 2am and he’s trying to find the perfect way to execute prisoners.

My housemate is asleep, and I don’t have to work until late the next day, so I stay up and stretch out on the couch and focus on the screen.


For a few weeks, I’ve been interested in suicide.

Not for myself, but the idea of it.

At least I don’t think it’s for myself.

But it would be nice to know there’s a way…that there’s a way to do it, if things really were that bad.

Something non violent, non painful.

Some kind of gas, maybe? Read the rest of this entry »

Thoughts, ideas, plans – Monday 11th January

In Gupter Puncher/Oli Johns on January 13, 2010 at 6:37 pm

‘I think it’s only because I’m dispirited that I am speaking so “boldly.”’ Arguedas, Fox above and Below 

Arguedas…you amazing cunt….

What can I write now?

I’ve fallen in love with a dead Peru guy…how the fuck did he write like that?

Fuck, I’ve been waiting so long for this…that library was dry…and I picked it up before…and put it back down again…why?

Title was good…’Fox above and below’…

I thought he was a snob? Intellectual?

Why didn’t I read the first page…that suicide line…’I’m gonna finish this book then end myself’… Read the rest of this entry »